Signs You’re Not Going To Win Dancing With the Stars  

 

  • Wardrobe refers to you as a “waste of sequins”

  • They keep calling you “an American icon” because it’s obvious you’re no dancer

  • Even Tom Bergeron hates your guts

  • You make Jerry Springer’s moves look good

  • The crowd bursts into applause when you sprain your ankle

  • Len Goodman just flipped you the bird

  • Your horrified partner tried to wrestle you to the ground

  • Producers tell you to “waltz the hell on out of here”

  • Your dance is interrupted by the unmistakable sound of Fred Astaire turning over in his grave

  • First comment from the judges is “Well, that happened”

  • Doctors advise you not to continue-even though you’re not injured

  • After your dance, they make you take a sobriety test