First Date Tips

First dates can cause a lot of anxiety.  We can help alleviate it with today’s list of The Top First Date Tips.

  • Talking about your ex is okay to a certain extent, as long as you’re not touching yourself.

  • Avoid restaurants with word-searches on the placemat.

  • Don’t show off your pole-dancing skills . . . if you’re a guy.

  • Don’t wear tie-dye unless you want your first impression to be, “My van has carpet.”

  • Try to break the tension by trying to make her laugh.  So show her your bank account balance.

  • Don’t show up in your furry pony suit unless you’re SURE she’s down.

  • Your encyclopedic knowledge of the Marvel universe will NOT be a turn-on.

  • When your date says how much she hates “mansplaining,” be sure to tell her how impressed you are that she knows a word with three syllables.

  • If you want to compliment her appearance, say, “You look nice” instead of going “BOING!”  

  • Keep your phone on silent so you’re not interrupted by calls from your spouse.