Ways Melania Trump Spent Her 48th Birthday

 The first lady turned 48 yesterday.


  • Begging White House tourists to take her with them when they leave
  • Learning how to conceal a grimace
  • Googling herself under her maiden name
  • Avoiding the hell out of Twitter
  • Trying to scrub the orange off
  • Writing anonymous letters of support to Robert Mueller
  • Staring at her reflection in a steak knife
  • Looking wistfully into the distance
  • Practicing looking severe
  • Learning yet another language, just to kill time
  • Wondering what could have been
  • Fighting cyber-bullying, just like every day