Complaints of the New Royal Baby

 

  • First glimpse of Daddy causes nightmares about male pattern baldness

  • Being 5th in line makes it harder to murder your way to the throne

  • Stupid commoners!

  • Everybody on this island has horrible dental hygiene!

  • Not gonna get a cool name like Kanye’s kids

  • One word: paparazzi

  • Born only to find out that Toys R Us is closing

  • Nobody bows or curtsies anymore? What the hell, people!??

  • Just learning how completely the British Empire has crumbled

  • Have to call soccer “football”

  • What’s with all the damn corgis?