Signs You’re a Bad Wheel of Fortune Contestant 

 

  • You keep trying to pick “Potent Potables” for $500

  • Seeing Vanna White, you ask, “Who’s the chick?”

  • You demand to know why you can’t buy a consonant

  • You can’t resist needling Pat Sajak about that failed talk show

  • You try to distract the other players by unzipping your fly and singing “U Can’t Touch This”

  • Two words: functional illiteracy

  • The only letters you ever seem to call out are “F” and “U”

  • Every time you spin the wheel you shout, “Momma needs a new Wonderbra!”

  • You only communicate in Emojis

  • You lose a round and claim the entire game is a “witch hunt”