1. Don’t panic. Your libido has its own rhythms. You can’t just expect it to show up to work every day. There are a million reasons why you might not be feeling desire like you used to. It’s important for you to understand that what you’re experiencing is likely normal. If there are accompanying health issues that you believe could be underlying it, however, seek out medical help, and don’t be afraid to bring up the issue to your doctor.
2. Don’t spend money, time, or effort to “bring it back.” Often, when your desire is struggling, people look for ways to “reawaken” themselves. This can sometimes mean that people spend money on self-help, or lectures, or even try something new, whether it’s new sex positions, erotic techniques, or even sex toys. Trying something new might be enjoyable, for a time. But everything will eventually return to the state it was in before, and it doesn’t solve your long-term issue or lead to consistently great, married sex.
3. You cannot control desire, but… While you cannot control desire, you can still cultivate it, making the situation right for you to feel it again. Everyone’s particular needs will be different, so it’s important to figure out what makes you feel comfortable, accepted, and loved by your partner. And while desire might seem low once in a while, there are ways for you to get it back, without the need for any gimmicks. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married ten weeks or ten years. Your sexual drive will recover, and by using these tips, you can guarantee that you’ll have the best, married sex of your life!