Top Signs You’re On A Bad Spring Break

It’s Spring Break Week at Penn State. Some will have a great time . . . while others may experience something like what you’ll hear on this list of The Top Signs You’re on a Bad Spring Break.

  • All the girls you’ve met so far have high self-esteem and amazing relationships with their dads.
  • None of the drugs you take make you laugh like Frances McDormand.
  • Women avoid you like Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet.
  • Despite your best efforts, you’ve only gotten three STDs.
  • It’s in Cancun and the only “action” you’re getting is running to the bathroom every five minutes from drinking the water.
  • You forgot to budget for bail money.
  • You’re in one of the states where pot isn’t legal yet.
  • So far, you remember most of it.
  • It doesn’t burn when you pee.
  • There’s a chalk outline on the floor of the bathroom in your hotel room.
  • The beach is empty because everyone’s inside watching Netflix and tweeting about anxiety.
  • You’re judging a wet sweater vest contest.
  • Your only souvenir is a pregnancy.