3 Things You Should Ask Your Bridesmaids for Help with (And 4 You Shouldn’t)

Yes: Planning Your Bachelorette or Shower (Not Both): If your friends agreed to be bridesmaids, it’s totally acceptable to make this big ask. Just make sure to set boundaries for prices and expectations. (And do not ask your bridesmaids to come up with the funds or time to plan both. Pick one.)

 Yes: Getting Ready Day-Of: From hair and makeup to placing the veil, it’s not only fun to include your best friends and family in this part of your wedding day, but it’s kind of necessary.

 Yes: Helping You Go to The Bathroom in Your Dress: If you’re wearing a traditional wedding gown, chances are you will need help peeing. Ask one or two of your bridesmaids to be on bathroom duty (aka hold your dress up after you’ve had a couple glasses of Champs).

 No: Communicating with Your Family (Or Soon-To-Be Family): This is family. Your family. So don’t put someone who has no business getting involved in the middle of things.

 No: Making Big Decisions: Whether you’re choosing between bands, entrées or wedding dresses, these are choices that should be yours (or your fiancé’s and families’).

 No: Making a Toast: Public speaking gives lots of people the cold sweats. Demanding a speech could mean ruining your friends’ nights over the anxiety of it all. Instead, put out the option to give a toast, but don’t make it mandatory.

 No: Answering Your 24/7 Calls: These are your closest friends and family; don’t treat them like hired help. Your inner circle is here to support you for this special occasion, not take orders.