Complaints of Oscar Seat Fillers

  • In Memoriam section never shows the seat-fillers we’ve lost

  • Jennifer Lawrence has a real attitude about being kissed

  • For some reason, sound engineers have terrible hygiene

  • Nobody ever invites us to the Vanity Fair party

  • It’s L.A. — what’s wrong with shorts and flip-flops?

  • People look at you like you’re some kind of weirdo if you sniff a celebrity’s seat

  • Last time we checked, no seat fillers union

  • Can’t get anyone to look at my screenplay!