1. Your partner badmouths their exes ― all of them. If your partner talks badly about all of their exes, this is a red flag that they haven’t done any introspection about what their behavior contributed to the deterioration of these previous relationships.
2. Your partner refuses to make an effort to spend time with your family and friends. If you notice that you are always making excuses for why your partner is never free to join you in social settings, this may be cause for an honest conversation.
3. Your partner is rude or mean to strangers. Pay attention to how they interact with the server at the restaurant, the Lyft driver, or the stranger at Trader Joe’s. Harsh treatment of strangers can say a lot about how they view others. Bad behavior toward strangers typically evolves into how they’ll eventually treat you.
4. Your partner has trouble apologizing. Being able to apologize is a sign of maturity. It says, “I’m willing to be accountable. I can admit my mistakes.” Over time, your relationship will suffer if the only person owning up to misdeeds is you.
5. Your partner’s time and money are often unaccounted for. The key here is “unaccounted for.” It may not signal anything nefarious, but it does signal a disconnect. Your committed partner should never wonder whether or not you’ve been in an accident, or why your shared account is lower than expected.
6. Your partner is in a bad mood more often than not. We all wake up on the wrong side of the bed now and again. And after a long hard day, we might not be our sparkly best. When irritability is the default, if your partner is rude or unkind or disrespectful, don’t kid yourself into thinking it’s not a big deal.