The Top Benefits of Drinking Beer

A new study says that drinking two beers a day can make you live longer.  But there’s much more to love about this delicious beverage.  Here are The Top Benefits of Drinking Beer.



It’s cheaper than Tide Pods.



The bottle gives you something to smash across the face of anyone that mocks your Oakland Raiders neck tattoo.



It will make you just like The Most Interesting Man in the World.  Minus the “interesting” part.



Developing an enormous belly will earn you extra income in December when you work as a mall Santa.



If you drink it while watching baseball, the game becomes almost entertaining.



You’re always ready for an impromptu burping contest.



If it was good enough for mom to drink while you were a fetus, it’s good enough for you to drink as an adult.



(CAREFUL) It makes your wife’s description of her day actually sound interesting.



You can free up time by driving all your friends away once you rattle off everything you know about craft beers.



Unlike meth, you can make your own without blowing up your house.



(CAREFUL) Beer improves your bones.  And if you have enough, it improves your chances to “bone.”



Grey is a sign of wisdom.  And who doesn’t want a wise liver?



The money you spend will go to make more commercials with catchphrases you can never get out of your head.  Dilly dilly!



When you meet Germans, you can thank them for beer instead of blaming them for wars.



Getting up from your chair every twenty minutes to pee builds strong quad muscles.



You’ll have a lot more hookups, because it’ll make your standards way, WAY lower.



The dad-bod is IN!