Realistic Marriage Vows You Didn’t Think to Make at Your Wedding

1. I promise to tell you I don’t care where we go out to eat, yet when you choose the restaurant, it will always be the wrong one. ― @3sunzzz

 2. I vow to not lose my s**t when you seriously think that’s how to load a dishwasher. ― @yenniwhite

 3. Do you promise to love and cherish him, even when he can never find his keys? ― @sarcasticmommy4

 4. I vow to never complain about the noises you make in the bathroom every morning as long as you vow never to complain about my hair in the drain. ― @Parkerlawyer

 5. I promise that every time I go shopping I will hide half of my purchases in the back of my closet. ― @3sunzzz

 6. Do you promise to love and cherish her, even when she turns into a complete monster because she’s hangry? ― @sarcasticmommy4

 7. I promise to never abandon you in order to sit on the toilet for 45 minutes or until the shape of the toilet seat is permanently tattooed on my ass just to get a break from the kids. ― @WalkingOutside

 8. I promise to always complain about the way you squeeze the toothpaste. ― @3sunzzz

 9. In sickness and in health, but I’m going to need a note from a doctor first because you’re a hypochondriac. ― @Parkerlawyer