Reasons You Shouldn’t Go to the Gym

A 57-year-old Florida man was arrested after he paraded around his community gym in the nude.  So add that to the list of The Top Reasons You Shouldn’t Go to the Gym.

  • Put on spandex.  Look in the mirror.  There ya go.

  • Why go somewhere to keep moving and moving without going anywhere?  Isn’t that what your job is for?

  • You want to begin every day watching the sunrise.  Not an upper middle-aged man blow-drying his nads.

  • Those places are teeming with bacteria, superbugs, and guys in tight shorts named “Jake” who constantly say, “Bro!”

  • President Trump doesn’t go to the gym, and his doctor says he’s in excellent health!

  • You’ll get kicked out for sniffing the stationary bike seat

  • If you get in shape, then you’ll know that you’re single and alone because of your personality.

  • That’s $30 a month you could spend on syrup!

  • It’s after January.  There’s nobody left to talk to there.

  • You want to take advantage of this “dad bod” craze while you still can.

  • You don’t have any retirement savings, so you don’t want to risk doing anything that might prolong your life.

  • You can get your own crispy towels at home.