Surprises Planned for the Eagles Super Bowl Parade

  • Street poles greased with edible bacon grease

  • Police horses trained to punch back

  • Alcohol refueling stations every few feet

  • Special sections for non-locals who just hate the Patriots

  • All cars in downtown area will be overturned in advance

  • Police to ignore anything done by anyone dressed in a Nick Foles jersey

  • Flammable items to be marked for easier bonfire construction

  • Contest to see who can break the Liberty Bell completely in half

  • Exclusive vomiting zones? Check!

  • If you’re drunk enough, you can just stay on the parade route until the St. Patty’s Day parade

  • Sidewalk canopy diving contests