The Top Things We Learned From the Super Bowl

Now that Super Bowl 52 is history, let’s take a look at The Top Things We Learned From the Super Bowl.

 

 

The halftime show would’ve been more entertaining if Peter Dinklage and Morgan Freeman continued their rap-off.

 

 

Justin Timberlake could’ve used Janet Jackson’s booby.

 

 

When Steven Tyler drives backwards in a Kia, he turns into Cher.

 

 

(CAREFUL) Tom Brady is not a receiver . . . well except when Gisele is in the mood.

 

 

Justin Timberlake is bringing boring back.

 

 

Bill Belichick’s wardrobe is provided by Hefty.

 

 

Evidently, another dream of Martin Luther King Jr. was narrating a commercial for Dodge Ram pickup trucks.

 

 

The most exciting play in football is the missed extra point.

 

 

Tom Brady doesn’t need to be wearing Uggs to look bad.

 

 

The Rock’s new movie is called “Skyscraper” because “Die Hard Rip-Off” is too on-the-nose.

 

 

If you’re going to pay tribute in your halftime show to a singer who recently died unexpectedly, don’t make the song, “I Would Die 4 U”.

 

 

No one will ever say, “Man, there’s nowhere I’d rather be in February than in Minneapolis, Minnesota!”

 

 

Bradley Cooper apparently likes attention.

 

 

The revelation that Budweiser sells water is no surprise to anyone who’s ever drank Budweiser.

 

 

It’s totally permissible to punch anyone at your Super Bowl party who won’t stop shouting, “Dilly, dilly!”

 

 

DiGiorno is Italian for “non-edible pizza-like product.”  Sorry, that’s something I learned at a Super Bowl party.

 

 

Nick Foles is now the Beyoncé of the Super Bowl.

 

 

Win or lose, Tom Brady’s hair is immaculate!