Reasons Why It’s So Hard to Dump a Toxic Friend

1. You go waaaaaay back. Breaking up with a childhood BFF and then stumbling upon photos of you as kids can be jarring. But the same thing will happen with you and tagged photos of your terrible ex. It sucks, but cute pics and select nice memories are never good enough reasons to keep someone in your life.

 2. When they’re good, they’re the best. Toxicity can be tough to spot on someone who is occasionally a fun person to hang out with. You just have to ask yourself if it’s worth staying friends with an excellent wing woman if she also hinted that you didn’t deserve your promotion and made you feel icky the rest of the night.

 3. Quitting them feels like a personal failure. But if you can date someone understanding that you might not be together forever, you’re strong enough to do the same with your friends.

 4. You think you deserve their meanness. If someone has extremely low self-esteem, she may not be able to distinguish good from bad advice, or she may be reluctant of questioning or challenging the other person for fear of alienating the friend. Friends are choices, and, if picked well, can be your best allies instead of just another person who puts you down.

 5. You’re terrified of losing your mutual friends. Try to avoid one-on-one hangouts with the ex-friend, be cordial when you’re with your mutual friends, and definitely avoid getting the other friends too involved in your grievances. And if you lose them all anyway? Honestly, being abandoned by my clique opened me up to so many legitimately fulfilling friendships I wouldn’t have had time for otherwise.