Signs Your Husband Is Sleeping with a Porn Star

 

  • During sex he accidentally calls you Bambi,Mercedes,or Jasmine

  • He absent-mindedly mimics 70’s funk guitar sounds 

  • He tells you you’re really good in bed — “for an amateur”

  • Your bank balance is suddenly $130,000 lower

  • After sex, he frequently yells “That’s a wrap, people!”

  • He comes home reeking of silicone

  • You’re the First Lady of the United States of America

  • During lovemaking, he keeps calling for a “fluffer”

  • His new bestie: Ron Jeremy

  • His spokespeople keep denying it