Things Not To Do In A Job Interview

A lot of people look for a new job this time of year. If that includes you, check out this list of The Top Things Not to Do in a Job Interview.

  • Take a look at your interviewer’s office, then go, “Whoa. And I thought HAITI was a s-hole!”
  • Refuse to shake the guy’s hand because you “don’t know where it’s been.”
  • Ask for a clear explanation of their sexual harassment policies, because you don’t wanna “get Weinsteined.”
  • Explain the reason you got lost on your way to the interview was because you were like, TOTALLY baked.
  • Ask if they test for bath salts.
  • Reveal the reason you’re wearing a Jedi robe is because your mom forgot to wash your Wolverine costume.
  • When asked what hobbies you enjoy . . . nod towards his secretary and say, “Motorboating!”
  • Point at the family photo on your interviewer’s desk and go, “If I had those mutants at home, I’d hide out here, too!”
  • Say you’re less of a people person and more of a “peephole” person.
  • Shout, “My dogs gotta breathe!” as you take off your shoes and socks.
  • Send the interviewer a “Candy Crush” invite.
  • Conclude the interview by dabbing.