Rejected Slogans of the GOOP-Endorsed Coffee Enema

 

  • Youll want a second cup!

  • Recommended by Dr. Juan Valdez

  • You’ll be filled with flavor

  • No taste! More filling!

  • The best part of waking up is infusing massive amounts of liquid into your lower colon

  • Mr. Coffee has a new name: “Ben Dover”

  • Sure, you could just drink coffee, but what fun is that?

  • Wake up your lower intestine!

  • Deemed unnecessary by medical professionals

  • If Gwyneth Paltrow tells you to put this in your butt, who are you to say no?

  • Good to the last plop!