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You’re still writing 1989 on your checks
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You have Cleveland Browns season tickets
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You finally got your big break, and it’s working with Louis C.K.
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You’ve been counting the days off on your cell wall
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Watching Mariah Carey blow her New Year’s Eve performance was the high point of your year
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You’re trying to see if there’s some way to skip 2018
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You’ve spent a lot of time googling the phrase “statute of limitations”
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You’re a big fan of American Democracy
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2017 was the year you finally got around to signing up for AOL Messenger
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You had no idea it was 2017