Four Different Hookups You’ll Almost Certainly Have at One Point in Your Life

1. The Drunken Hookup

Alcohol is basically inseparable from hookups. But as we all know, there’s a thin line between “I”m drunk but I basically know what I’m doing,” and “I have no idea what happened to me yesterday.” In the former situation, your sexual consent is meaningful: you know where you are, you know what you’re doing. And the same goes for your partner, at an equivalent level of intoxication. But in the latter situation, consent is meaningless. So, it behooves you to be careful about whether the slightly drunk person you’re hanging out with is actually way too drunk to meaningfully consent, which they could be. This is especially true from a male perspective, because women tend to have lower alcohol tolerance.


2. The Friend Hookup

You have to be careful here, because there’s rarely such a thing as completely emotionless sex – even among friends. Usually, one party or the other feels some way about it, even if only slightly. Maybe you don’t feel anything for your friend, and you’re just getting your rocks off, but that’s not necessarily true of her. So, you’ve got to be a good friend to the person you’’ve just had sex with – which means knowing where things stand. You should probably text and say something like, “So that was fun, huh?” Just open the lines of communication so they can communicate about it if he/she feels the need to.


3. The Online Dating Hookup

So the weird thing about online dating is that a lot of people are on Tinder, and similar acts, because they want to get laid – and some people are on there to find long-term meaningful partnership. And it is totally not clear, often, what people want. So how do you make that clear? Tailor your approach accordingly. Be flirtatious. Push the boundaries just a tiny bit. Throw in a physical compliment that’s not obnoxious once you’ve been texting for a bit. If she’s not interested in giving the conversation a sexual tone, she just won’t write back. Which saves you time. You can now move onto the next lucky person.


4. The Travel Hookup

The best hookups, ever, obviously, are travel hookups. You meet a beautiful woman at a bar. She has a conspicuous accent, because she’s from Norway. She’s only in Manhattan for three days for a business trip. Could you show her around? Sure. And you do, and you fall a little bit in love, and the sex is amazing. Enjoy this. But remember that, like all other humans, you’re just an ape with fancy pants, and you’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the book: scarcity value. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is more interesting if you know that your time with them is limited. So, when your beautiful Norwegian leaves, you might – you probably will – feel the instinct to jump on a plane and go stay with her and continue the romance.