The Top Santa Tweets

Even though Santa is super busy right now, he still finds some time for social media. Here are The Top Santa Tweets.

  • @roymoore: Your request for my “Naughty” list of girls is denied.
  • The Pathetic Easter Bunny has always begged me to show him how to be popular like I am, but he just can’t pull it off! SAD!
  • After I’m done delivering toys around the world, I’m gonna make a quick stop and see Nine Ladies Dancing . . . at the Spearmint Rhino!
  • @meth: Couldn’t hit every home on the globe in a single night without you!
  • Stupid barista wrote the name KURT Kringle on my drink cup.
  • Seriously, @PaulMcCartney, it’s been 38 years. It’s time to apologize for “Wonderful Christmastime”.
  • @kids: I don’t care what “Mall Me” promised you. “Me Me” is bringing you a damn coloring book! #DealWithIt
  • It’s not cool to refer to someone’s stomach as “a bowl full of jelly.” #StopFatShaming
  • Maybe try leaving out some healthy salads and sparkling water instead of milk and cookies. #diabetes
  • So can’t a guy watch kids when they’re sleeping and when they’re awake without being called a creep anymore?
  • Heading to Walmart so I can feel skinny.