The Top Reasons You Ignore Politics

  • It  requires brains.  And you just got gum stuck in your hair.

  • The same reason you ignore your marriage:  it involves nobody attractive.

  • You’re an anarchist.  Okay, you’re a lazy ass stoner.  But “anarchist” sounds cooler.

  • It usually devolves into name-calling and violence.  And you got enough of that during Thanksgiving with the family.

  • You prefer to spend your time on things that don’t involve politics . . . like the NFL and Hollywood award shows.

  • Both parties have the same goal . . . sexual harassment.

  • Britain has Prince William and Prince Harry.  We have Donald Jr. and Eric.

  • You’re too busy arguing with your family about religion.

  • You’re not Russian, so your vote in American elections doesn’t count.

  • You don’t have time to pay attention to politics, because you’re too busy working for minimum wage with zero benefits.

  • Because if you paid attention to politics, you’d spend five hours of a day weeping.

  • You have this weird thing about wanting to stay on good terms with your family.

  • After Kid Rock dropped out, what’s the point?

  • The “Real Housewives” and the Kardashians are just as insipid, but way more pleasing to look at.

  • You have this strange inexplicable desire to enjoy your life.