Things that Annoy Santa’s Elves

Santa’s elves are always portrayed as happy and carefree.  But it turns out, there’s a lot of stuff that bothers them.  Here are The Top Things that Annoy Santa’s Elves.

  • Santa still hasn’t added dwarf tossing to the things that get you on the naughty list.

  • People asking, “Wouldn’t you rather be a dentist?” as if they’re the first person who ever thought of it.

  • All the good acting roles are just automatically given to Peter Dinklage.

  • Thanks to all these kids wanting iPhones, they keep losing jobs to Chinese toddlers.

  • Rudolph shows up for work with a red nose and he’s a hero.  One of them shows up for work with a red nose and he’s sent to rehab.

  • Santa couldn’t have built his workshop in Aruba or Cancun, could he?

  • Kevin Spacey keeps inviting them over for slumber parties.

  • Jeff Sessions keeps skipping work to go to meetings in Washington.

  • Not having a North Pole Spearmint Rhino.

  • That Will Ferrell movie makes them all sound mentally disabled.

  • Being at just the right . . . or wrong . . . height when Santa lets one go.

  • Elves who steal other people’s eggnog out of the break room fridge.