Things Everyone Has Done at the Doctor but Won’t Admit

1. Touched all of the medical supplies in the exam room when you were left alone.

 2. Lied when the doctor asked about your alcohol and drug use even though they just needed to know for your health.

 3. Peeked inside that ominous-looking biohazard trashcan.

 4. Snuck a few Band-Aids or pairs of gloves to use later.

 5. Frantically shoved your phone away when the doctor came in the room as if you weren’t playing on it right before.

 6. Rewarded yourself with a lollipop even though you’re an adult.

 7. Flinched when the doctor first touched you, even if they weren’t doing anything that hurt.

 8. Told the doctor about the diagnosis you found on the Internet instead of telling them your symptoms so they could make a diagnosis.

 9. Wrote on the sign-in sheet that you arrived earlier than you actually did — even though it never made a difference and you still waited for hours.

 10. Expected the worst every single time.

 11. Asked the doctor to diagnose 17 other problems so you could get the most out of one visit.

 12. Accidentally taken a nap on the exam table while waiting for the doctor.