Cool Facts About Turkeys

Now that they’re half-way through your colon, how about a few Turkey Facts for which you can be thankful?

  • They call that thing that dangles from their chin, “Trump Necks.”
  • Benjamin Franklin was going to fight for making them our national bird. But then got distracted by prostitutes.
  • They can fly, but they don’t do it often . . . because they hate paying bag check fees.
  • Wild ones help me cope with the misery of an unfulfilling career and toxic home life. Or are we not talking about bourbon?
  • They spend their spare time trying to raise money for groups promoting the benefits of a vegan lifestyle.
  • A group of turkeys can be called a “posse.” Especially if one of those turkeys has a rap album.
  • Just the sight of croutons is enough to induce a panic attack.
  • Their least favorite Disney movie? “Frozen”.
  • When THEY break a wishbone, they automatically get their wish.
  • They can do an awesome Mitch McConnell impression.