Signs Your Political Candidate Is a Loser

In honor of yesterday’s election…

Signs Your Political Candidate Is a Loser


  • Their campaign literature is mostly emojis

  • Their yard-signs are mostly stolen realtor’s “For Sale” signs papered over

  • They’re a write-in candidate with an impossible-to-spell name

  • During debates, they stick their fingers in their ears and yell, “I can’t hear you!”

  • You only see their bumper stickers on dumpsters

  • Campaign slogan: “I know you are, but what am I?”

  • The only union endorsing them is the Lollipop Guild

  • They promise to take time to listen to the voices in their head

  • They’re currently serving a 21-month sentence for arson

  • They forgot to register to vote!