Things That Annoy Godzilla

Even though yesterday was Godzilla’s birthday, he’s just not that happy. Learn about what’s bothering him with this list of The Top Things that Annoy Godzilla.

  • Those tiny arms make it impossible to read his FitBit.
  • Adidas still doesn’t make a tracksuit in his size.
  • In 1954, he was the weirdest thing to come out of Japan. Now, he’s 4,394th on the list.
  • Thanks to “Game of Thrones”, all anybody wants anymore is dragons.
  • @GiantScalyTerrifyingCreature is already taken on Twitter by Steve Bannon.
  • The fact that power transmission towers make lousy selfie sticks.
  • One accidental sneeze and now his date is on fire.
  • When his lover accidentally calls out King Kong’s name during sex.
  • Under Trump’s new tax plan, he can no longer write off trips to Tokyo as a business expense.
  • Mothra slamming into his bedroom window every time he turns on the light.
  • Seeing Godzilla Junior wearing a fedora.
  • Getting helicopters stuck in his teeth.
  • He’s only ever invited to barbecues so he can light them.
  • He can’t erase from his memory that one time he knocked a roof off a high-rise and exposed an old woman showering.
  • Not one producer will let him direct.
  • The way the camera adds 1,500 pounds.
  • Occasionally suffering from REPTILE DYSFUNCTION!