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You ask it what it’s been up to, and it nervously answers, “Nothing”.
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It tried to disguise itself as a toaster
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You ask the time and temperature, and it answers, “Who wants to know?”
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It owes large amounts of money to the wrong people
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You swear when you left the house it followed you in a cab
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It’s wearing a wire
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Sometimes you swear you hear it muttering, Must…kill…Alexa”
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Your phone bill includes dozens of late-night calls that you never made
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It gets cagey every time the subject of Russia comes up