1. Someone wore white. “Mother of the groom showed up in white. Bride took her shopping weeks before and thought they had found a blue dress that made MOG look beautiful. I wish to this day I had thought to spill my wine on her and force her to change.”
2. Someone died. “The grandmother of the bride died. At the reception. She was dancing/having fun and then just collapsed.
3. Someone proposed. “During the best man speech, the best man proposed to the maid of honor. Totally stole the night from the bride and groom. Now the best man and maid of honor are in the process of divorcing.”
4. Someone went too far trying to catch the bouquet. “For the bouquet toss, a middle-aged guy forced his middle-aged girlfriend out onto the floor. The bouquet was caught by an excited little girl. The guy yanked the bouquet out of the little girl’s hands, gave it to his middle-aged girlfriend, then ran off the floor cheering loudly to high-five one of his buddies. The little girl ran away crying.”
5. Someone bit a family member. “Bride’s step-mother and mother got into a fight. Step-mother bit the mother.
6. Someone super-important didn’t turn up. “Bride never showed up. My cousin was the groom and had about 500 people in attendance. He got on the mic and said there’s no bride, so we had the party anyway.”
7. Someone hooked up in the bridal suite. “One of my bridesmaids brought an uninvited date, then had sex with him in the bridal suite while we were having cocktails. They drank the whole bottle of champagne and ate the plate of fruit that my husband and had in there for after the wedding.”