Signs You’re Not Going to Win the Nobel Prize for Physics

3 Americans won Nobel Prizes for work on gravity. So, You mean we’re closer to finding a cure for falling down? Here are a few signs that you are not among the winners…

  • You’ve already won the Nobel Prize-for partying!
  • You think “quantum” was the name of an Apache chief
  • Your last experiment resulted in you getting your head stuck in a wastepaper basket
  • You discovered a particle that makes burritos taste better
  • You spell “physics” with an “F”…and an “X”
  • You thought Stephen Hawking was “that skateboard guy”
  • Your doctoral thesis consisted entirely of the phrase “Fire bad!”
  • Most of your deductive reasoning work involves figuring out what your girlfriend is thinking
  • That whole flat-earth and chemtrails thing that you’re so into
  • People say you’re, like, really dumb