Reasons You Aren’t Getting A Flu Shot

The CDC recommends that everyone six months and older get a flu shot. Find out why you’re ignoring their recommendation with The Top Reasons You Aren’t Getting a Flu Shot.

  • Alex Jones says it’s just a way for liberals to brainwash you into taking a knee during the national anthem.
  • Deadly sicknesses are slimming.
  • As a masochist, you try to eat hospital food as often as possible.
  • Every fall you look forward to all the Instagram loves your pics of chicken soup get.
  • Why bother when getting the flu is a perfectly good reason to take a week off work and binge watch “RuPaul’s Drag Race”.
  • You’re boycotting it because you’re too old to get a Transformers sticker when it’s done.
  • You’re in line at the pharmacy behind Bill Cosby and he’s taking forever with his order.
  • You’re afraid of the side effects: Fever, nausea, and crying like a baby in the middle of the Rite Aid.
  • Duh. It’s $10! Who are you, Mr. Money Bags?
  • You don’t want anyone to see the Jonas Brothers tattoo on your upper arm.
  • No shots for you unless they’re J√§germeister.
  • You know that’s how the government injects tracking devices under your skin, right?
  • You assume North Korea will ensure the flu is the least of your problems.
  • Unfortunately, a flu shot will do nothing to cure your debilitating case of “Bieber Fever.”
  • Half of your portfolio is tied up in Kleenex stock.