Reasons You Hate Fall

It’s the first day of fall . . . but not everyone is happy about it. Here are The Top Reasons You Hate Fall.

  • It’s harder to tell which spider webs are real and which ones are fake.
  • Your spouse likes to cuddle when it’s cold. Eww.
  • It’s football time!! Aaaand you’re a Cincinnati Bengals fan.
  • You’re frustrated because you can’t find pumpkin-spice roofies.
  • You know that in about a month, your Facebook friends will post nonstop David S. Pumpkins memes.
  • Graffiti artists switch from colorful pastels to depressing earth tones.
  • The additional layers of clothes make it harder to secretly scope out boobs.
  • It’s almost time to be disappointed with another “Star Wars” movie.
  • You’re Scott Baio and fall means you have to fold a ton of sweaters at The Gap.
  • You prefer your latte to be acorn-spiced.
  • The dying leaves remind you of your dying marriage.
  • Going to parent-teacher conferences just reminds you of what disappointments your kids are.
  • You heard Kim Kardashian say she loves fall.