Reasons You Hate Fall

It’s the first day of fall . . . but not everyone is happy about it. Here are The Top Reasons You Hate Fall.

• It’s harder to tell which spider webs are real and which ones are fake.
• Your spouse likes to cuddle when it’s cold. Eww.
• It’s football time!! Aaaand you’re a Cincinnati Bengals fan.
• You’re frustrated because you can’t find pumpkin-spice roofies.
• You know that in about a month, your Facebook friends will post nonstop David S. Pumpkins memes.
• Graffiti artists switch from colorful pastels to depressing earth tones.
• The additional layers of clothes make it harder to secretly scope out boobs.
• It’s almost time to be disappointed with another “Star Wars” movie.
• You’re Scott Baio and fall means you have to fold a ton of sweaters at The Gap.
• You prefer your latte to be acorn-spiced.
• The dying leaves remind you of your dying marriage.
• Going to parent-teacher conferences just reminds you of what disappointments your kids are.
• You heard Kim Kardashian say she loves fall.