Love Advice We Wish We Had Growing Up

Learn to love your own body. Long before we have sex with anyone, we need to be comfortable having sex with ourselves-yet so few of us are. One of the earliest messages women get is to never talk about their sexuality. So get intimate with yourself. If you don’t know you, you can’t expect anyone else to.

Pay attention to the warning signs. If a guy says, “I don’t want a girlfriend,” or “I’ve never been faithful,” he means it. Sure, you can seduce him, but don’t expect to change him. Please believe him when he tells you who he is.

 Maintain boundaries. I don’t understand the outdated notion of “two becoming one.” If you think you’re only half a person, please figure your crap out before getting in a relationship. Likewise, if you’re in love with a half-formed person, get out fast. Remember who you are, and stay true to that.

 And take it one day at a time. My husband, Nick, recently said to me, “I can’t believe I’ve been touching you for 15 years.” I laughed. I knew what he meant that’s a long time. Is forever realistic? Who knows. In marriage you sacrifice the adrenaline rush of seeing someone new for the comfort of being with someone who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. Today I wouldn’t trade that for anything, but tomorrow might be a different story. And that’s OK-life is messy, and I’m down for the ride.