Things That Annoy Clowns

Professional clowns across the country say they are losing business because of the movie “It”. So add that to the list of The Top Things that Annoy Clowns.

  • Movies that depict them as evil, or even worse . . . as mimes.
  • When someone farts in the clown car.
  • You try kicking someone’s ass with shoes that squeak.
  • Unemployment offices that refuse to offer unicycle parking.
  • When women see their shoe size, and then are disappointed when they see them naked.
  • No matter how hard they try, they’ll never be as funny as an old person falling down the escalator.
  • Getting fired after their stupid boss fails to realize that constantly pounding tequila makes their “pratfalls” WAY more hilarious.
  • No matter how many balloon animals they make, it doesn’t take away their loneliness.
  • When people see their rainbow hair and ask, “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
  • Vegan clowns getting on them for using rubber chickens.
  • Lion tamers get all the chicks.
  • Gwyneth Paltrow. Because she bothers everybody.