Clown Complaints


  • Still haven’t paid off those damn clown college loans

  • Impossible to find old-fashioned seltzer bottles nowadays

  • We wear makeup all the time; where the hell’s our Maybelline endorsement?

  • Jamming into that tiny car-why is that still a thing?

  • Trapeze girls who don’t even know you exist

  • Can’t even stand in the woods without everyone thinking you’re “lurking”

  • Congress gives clowns a bad name

  • Giant shoes really hard to walk in

  • Workmen’s comp doesn’t cover tricycle accidents