Signs You Wasted Your Summer

 

  • You spent it trying to repeal and replace Obamacare

  •  Four words: Philadelphia Phillies season tickets

  • Your plans to clean the garage failed when you realized you didn’t have a garage

  • The sand in your butt crack is left over from last summer

  • Binge-watching Life of Kylie? Check!

  • Frittered away all your time on MySpace

  • Your name is Anthony Scaramucci

  • You’re still waiting to hear from that Nigerian prince you sent money to

  • It started out with the Baywatch movie and went downhill from there

  • You spent three months cleaning and restoring Confederate monuments