When you go out to eat, you expect to have a good experience. But that wouldn’t be the case if you experienced anything from this list of The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Restaurant Server.
- Just me or does “jalapeno popper” sound like a sex thing?
- So glad you could join us tonight. I guess you don’t read Yelp reviews?
- No, you heard me right. The chef’s special is spaghetti and METH-balls.
- Funny. Your soup wasn’t cold when I dipped my nads in it.
- We only have one vegan option: If you say you’re vegan, we have the option to ask you to get the hell out of our restaurant.
- Sorry for the delay. Chef had the dry heaves.
- Yes I know there’s a fly in your soup. That’s the garnish.
- Wait, you two are on a date? Did she lose a bet?
- Sorry, we no longer offer unlimited breadsticks. However, I’m happy to offer you an unlimited amount of hugs.
- Sure you can afford the Dom Pérignon? She looks like she charges a lot.
- Would you mind putting a little something in the tip jar? We’re gonna need every cent to bribe the health inspector.
- I’m Anthony Scaramucci and I’ll be your server tonight.
- Can I get your opinion on this monologue I’m using for my audition?
- What’s my recommendation? That you research a good gastroenterologist.