Signs You’re Too Old to Do Your Own Movie Stunts

Did you hear about Tom Cruise’s on-set mishap?

  • Your hip has been replaced so many times the surgeon gave you a punch card

  • Your trailer is stocked with prune juice

  • Your co-star is also your nurse

  • You’re also Kirk Douglas’ butt-double

  • Before shooting, you have to tuck away your medic-alert bracelet

  • You’re excited to be working in “talkies”

  • You consider climbing stairs to be a stunt

  • You’re constantly bitching about how “Mr. Chaplin” used to do it

  • You complain that craft services doesn’t offer enough fiber

  • Carl Reiner calls you “Pops”

  • When doing car stunts, you leave your turn signal on