You feel like you’re on auto pilot.
There’s nothing wrong with having routine and structure, but if you feel like you can do your daily routine without using a single brain cell it might mean you’ve fallen into too much of a safe space with your partner. Sometimes you have to pull the unexpected to shake some energy and motivation into your marriage.
You have a toddler.
If you really want to test your marriage, cohabitate with a toddler or two. Sleep deprivation will have you giving the side-eye to your partner over even the sweetest gestures. If you have a toddler, it’s almost mandatory that you schedule time regularly to focus on your partner and them alone without distractions.
Your sex life is lacking.
My angriest friends just also happen to be the horniest and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. All those arguments you’re having with your partner over absolutely nothing? Probably just pent up sexual tension.
You’re annoying each other.
If you find yourself questioning your whole marriage because of a dirty dish in the sink or a delayed text message, it may just be that you’re both high strung and need a break.
Because it’s been awhile.
In the past two years I have been to New Orleans with my BFF, New York City with my sister, and go to happy hour with friends and co-workers. One day it occurred to me I wasn’t using much of my free time outside the house to hang out with my husband. It doesn’t always have to be about sex or even anything romantic. Hanging out and having fun with your spouse is important too.