Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Your Carnival Ride Operator

  • Have you signed all the release forms?

  • Now would be the time to make peace with the Big Guy upstairs.

  • Hey, where do you suppose this wingnut is supposed to go?

  • Fasten your seat-rope!

  • How strong is your grip?

  • Would you like me to hold on to your valuables?

  • Don’t ask me if it’s safe-we’re told to always say “yes”.

  • Want a swig of this here fire water?

  • Wait—What did that pill bottle say about operating heavy machinery?

  • See you in Hell!