Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

Friends say there were hints that Chris Pratt and Anna Faris were headed for a split. And it can happen to any couple. Here are The Top Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble.

  • You notice she’s been watching “Gone Girl” a lot lately.
  • He always gets to the bag of Starbursts before you, and leaves only the orange and yellow ones.
  • His favorite sex position is “On Your Sister.”
  • The only time he touched you passionately during a cruise was to push you overboard.
  • On special occasions, he doesn’t take you to Jared . . . he takes you to Dave & Buster’s.
  • The kids are already making out two separate Christmas lists.
  • You’re married to Ben Affleck and the nanny’s hot.
  • He just hired a lawyer to sue Usher for not saying he had herpes before they had sex.
  • When someone asks how you guys met, your girlfriend sighs and says, “Don’t remind me.”
  • You no longer hold hands while overdosing on opioids.
  • Neither of you even bother to put on your good sweatpants anymore.
  • She swats your hand away every time you get off Air Force One in a foreign country.
  • She recently took a class in basic car maintenance . . . so she could learn how to cut your brake line.
  • She just Googled the term “conscious uncoupling.”
  • This Halloween, he wants to go as O.J. and Nicole.