Signs Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Getting Old

Arnold Schwarzenegger turned 70 yesterday. And he’s starting to show it. Here are The Top Signs Arnold Schwarzenegger is Getting Old.

  • He can spend up to an hour looking for his tank keys before realizing they’re in his pocket.
  • He sometimes forgets the names of his kids . . . and their moms.
  • In the latest “Terminator”, he’s sent back in time to kill predatory telemarketers.
  • After the maid brings him his oatmeal, he doesn’t even have the energy to slap her on the butt anymore.
  • Instead of riding around and blowing things up with his tank, his new favorite hobby is stealing sugar packets from Denny’s.
  • He’s making a sequel to “The Running Man” called “The Mall-Walking Man”.
  • His newest catchphrase is “I’ll be back . . . Unless ‘Jeopardy’ is on.”
  • He still uses an AOL account.
  • Most of the “pumping iron” he does now is when he takes his Centrum Silver.
  • Now there’s a decent chance that it IS a tumor.
  • He still drives a giant Hummer. But the car seems slightly less badass when it’s going 35 in the fast lane with the left blinker on.
  • He no longer has “total recall” of what he did yesterday.
  • Occasionally he forgets things, like why he ever agreed to play Mr. Freeze in “Batman and Robin”.
  • He’s gone from “I’ll be back!” to “Oww, my back!”