Arnold Schwarzenegger turned 70 yesterday. And he’s starting to show it. Here are The Top Signs Arnold Schwarzenegger is Getting Old.
- He can spend up to an hour looking for his tank keys before realizing they’re in his pocket.
- He sometimes forgets the names of his kids . . . and their moms.
- In the latest “Terminator”, he’s sent back in time to kill predatory telemarketers.
- After the maid brings him his oatmeal, he doesn’t even have the energy to slap her on the butt anymore.
- Instead of riding around and blowing things up with his tank, his new favorite hobby is stealing sugar packets from Denny’s.
- He’s making a sequel to “The Running Man” called “The Mall-Walking Man”.
- His newest catchphrase is “I’ll be back . . . Unless ‘Jeopardy’ is on.”
- He still uses an AOL account.
- Most of the “pumping iron” he does now is when he takes his Centrum Silver.
- Now there’s a decent chance that it IS a tumor.
- He still drives a giant Hummer. But the car seems slightly less badass when it’s going 35 in the fast lane with the left blinker on.
- He no longer has “total recall” of what he did yesterday.
- Occasionally he forgets things, like why he ever agreed to play Mr. Freeze in “Batman and Robin”.
- He’s gone from “I’ll be back!” to “Oww, my back!”