Signs Your Summer is Already Off to a Bad Start

 

  • Your junk has permanently fused to the side of your thigh

  • Your son’s camp was just shut down by the feds

  • You manage the Philadelphia Phillies

  • No matter how much you deny it, you damn well know that you ARE under investigation

  • Your summer fling just wants to be friends

  • Your back is so sweaty, you had to hire a guy to squeegee it

  • The only summer concert ticket you could afford was a Nickelback cover band

  • You can’t get the sand out of your underwear, yet you haven’t been to the beach

  • Your career was riding on the success of The Mummy

  • Your summer job is White House Press Secretary