Signs You’re A Narcissist

With today being National Selfie Day, it’s a good time for this list of The Top Signs You’re a Narcissist.

  • You interrupt conversations to say, “Enough about me. What about me?”
  • You’re an atheist just because the Bible makes no mention of you.
  • You can’t stop bragging about your deeply fulfilling sex life. And you’re not seeing anyone.
  • You never stop bragging about your amazing Electoral College win. And you’re orange.
  • You asked the cop who pulled you over if you looked good speeding.
  • Kanye West just admonished you for staring in the mirror so much.
  • You put your nail clippings on eBay.
  • You started a website called “Goop” where you dispense worthless life advice while selling dumb people $300 pairs of socks.
  • You spent your life savings on 200,000 selfie sticks.
  • You spell “team” with an “i.”
  • Your go-to gift for friends is a framed photo of yourself.
  • You immediately despise anyone who has more followers than you.
  • You’re a millennial.