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Just got the DNA results back and it’s not looking good
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Father’s Day? For YOU? You’re kidding, right?
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Sis and I are going to find a place where it’s legal for us to marry
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Have another drink, Dad. That’s what you’re best at
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I would totally have been there today if my parole officer let me
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Sorry I’m late, I was busy celebrating with Mom’s new husband
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Why do all the other kids’ fathers have jobs?
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Daddy, I met a new boyfriend over the Internet!
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Are you familiar with the Church of Scientology?
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We got you a gym membership!