Signs You’re Watching a Bad TV Musical

  • It’s called Seven Brides for One Mormon Guy
  • Every time someone bursts into song, you wish they’d burst into flames
  • The tenor role is played by Vin Diesel
  • It’s basically West Side Story if the rival gangs were competing on Cupcake Wars
  • The main character is Stephen Hawking
  • This one is also called Frozen, but it’s about Walt Disney’s corpse
  • The original was so far “Off Broadway” it was in Cincinnati
  • The best song in the show is the one sung by Yoda
  • The whole thing is really just a very long commercial for the ShamWow
  • You’re really having a hard time telling Beauty from the Beast