Things Dogs Would Say If They Could Talk

A new study says dogs communicate with humans with differences in their barks and growls.  But what if they could actually speak?  Here are The Top Things Dogs Would Say if They Could Talk.

  • You realize when you guys do it doggy style that’s “species appropriation”, right?
  • Well if I wasn’t meant to roll in it, why’d they make it smell so good?
  • Remember that time you lopped off my nuts? Yeah, not cool.
  • Can you at least use brand name peanut butter?
  • Do I hear Sarah McLachlan music? Change the channel NOW!
  • I want filet mignon every night or I reveal to the wife your entire browser history.
  • Just so you know: the groomer fingers my butthole.
  • So you’re watching TV, huh? That’s cool. I’m just gonna sit right at your feet and play with the noisiest toy I own.
  • I got Bob Barker in my celebrity death pool.
  • Why don’t you ever hump MY leg?
  • Why would you drink out of a glass when there’s a perfectly good toilet over there?
  • How much will I get for finally revealing WHO let us out?
  • You go to work. I stay home and lick myself all day. I win.
  • Whoa, this other dog’s butt smells terrible. But the question is, HOW terrible? I’d better sniff again and find out!
  • Finally, a special counsel has been appointed.