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Cuts off interns’ hands if they spill coffee
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Mustache is made of cheap felt
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Once shot a guy for mistaking him for Montel Williams
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His photo accompanies the word “egomaniac” in all Merriam-Webster dictionaries
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Makes employees buy him a cake when it’s their birthday
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Once had a chatty staffer’s larynx removed
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Actually the evil twin of friendly, mild-mannered Stan Harvey
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Orders people deported despite not having the authority
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He knew damn well who really won that Miss Universe contest
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A disturbing number of former employees are unaccounted for
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Said something funny once, allegedly