Little Known Perks of Being Queen Elizabeth

 

  • Can have you killed if you fail to amuse her

  • Free Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s on birthday

  • Unlike anyone else in England, is allowed to drive on the correct side of the road

  • Extra time off from whatever the hell she does

  • Is exempt from having to eat British food

  • Can randomly pair off strangers and force them to fight

  • Did someone say free jewelry appraisal?

  • If she gets on the bus, you HAVE to give up your seat

  • Generous discounts at participating AMC Theaters

  • 4 words: automatically renewing gym membership

  • Can do anything she wants, and then say “I’m the damn Queen, bitches!”